People who are willing to use sarcasm, yelling, name calling, threats, intimidation, withdrawal of love, and even physical attacks when you won’t do what they want, or you don’t think the same as they do, or you don’t feel the way they prefer—ARE BULLIES. It is not just that they are frustrated, hurt, or angry, it is the fact that they choose to try to make you have the response that they want by doing something that hurts you, scares you, or makes you feel coerced. When someone attacks your self-esteem or your sense of well-being in order to get their own way, they are bullying you–even if that person is someone you love or someone who says they love you.
Being in a relationship means compromising and making accommodations to meet each other’s needs. That means your needs and wants should be accommodated as much as you accommodate the other person’s needs and wants. People who make those adjustments good naturedly and in a calm, loving and considerate manner create respect, ease your discomfort, and demonstrate their love. If you are being bullied by someone you love, it’s time to ask yourself:
Am I feeling loved when this happens?
What excuses am I making for the other person?
Do I believe deep down that I don’t deserve better treatment?
How often does the other person act this way?
Have I spoken up about it? What happened when I did?
Have I seen any improvement toward more positive behaviors?
If there has been minimal improvement, why am I still putting up with it?