About | Margalis Fjelstad, Ph.D., LMFT Ret.

I grew up in a family with a borderline mother. I saw my father be the best caretaker for her that he could be. As the oldest child, I learned those caretaker behaviors very well. I kept trying to understand why my family looked good on the outside and yet felt scary and miserable on the inside. My search led me to becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist.

For thirty years, I trained and supervised MFT interns at California State University, Sacramento, and Regis University. I founded the non-profit Threshold Educational and Counseling Services where I had a therapy practice. I have also presented professional trainings in personality disorders for therapists through PESI in the U.S. and through TATRA in Australia. In semi-retirement I have written four books and offered phone consultations to clients and professionals around the world.

My specialty is working with clients who have become caretakers in a relationship with a borderline or narcissist (BP/NP). Since retiring from doing active therapy, I am now writing and passing on the insights, methods, and skills that work for caretakers struggling to understand and extricate themselves from the caretaker role.

My Mission as an Author

My goals are to provide understanding of the borderline and narcissistic disorders and share effective ways to navigate these very complicated and often destructive relationships. I hope the information, relatable examples, and useful techniques I provide can reduce your emotional suffering and give you powerful methods to neutralize the BP/NP's crazy-making behaviors. My books can help you protect your identity, increase your self-compassion, and restore your confidence and self-respect.